CHANGING YOUR PERSONAL RELATIONSHIPS

Who or what would you like to change in order to make your relationship work? Think of a time when you tried to change another person. What was the behavior you wanted to change? How did you try to change this? What was the outcome of the situation? Have you ever stayed in an unhappy relationship? How did you try to change this relationship? Why did you choose to stay in it?

The truth is that you can’t change anybody and the more you try the worse it gets. People can only change themselves and they will only do that when they want to. Whenever you are waiting for someone to change you will be in low self-esteem and you are giving your power away. If your happiness depends upon the action of others, you have become a victim, are disempowered and have lost direction. We become trapped when we look for fulfillment anywhere outside ourselves.

It is possible to change your relationships so why not take a totally different approach? It is only possible to make changes in a relationship if you are prepared to change the messages you are sending to the other person. If you are focusing on the behavior of the other person you are looking in the wrong direction! Stop waiting, start changing or leave the relationship. You can’t? Oh yes you can!
 

CHANGE YOUR FOCUS

The ways people treat us are reflections of the ways that we treat ourselves. Change your focus from the outside to the inside. The only true relationship is the one which you will have with yourself: all of your relationships are a reflection of this one. If, for example, you feel that you are not treated with respect, look inside and ask yourself if you have self-respect. If you victimize yourself you will be sure to attract the sort of people who are looking for a victim. Do you need to please people? Do you need to be ‘looked after’? Has an underlying theme developed in all your relationships?

People can’t always be what we want them to be and so we feel let down. We may then try to change them or give up, submit and become resentful, or we may leave and look for someone else.

Think about the ways that you support yourself. If you truly appreciate your strengths then others will reflect that appreciation. In other words, treat yourself well and others will do the same: victimizers will leave your life (if you haven’t left them first). When a relationship becomes difficult always ask yourself this question: ‘How have I attracted this behavior into my life?’

Only you can give yourself the care and nurturing you really need.

Take responsibility for yourself and don’t give your power away.

Change the focus of your energy and know that you attract the relationships you deserve.
 

With very best wishes

Caroline